I was 5'8 and he just an inch taller. He was slim, withheavy muscle definition despite just turning fifteen; compact muscles withraven-black hair and pale blue eyes. I was also pale, freckles included,with ocean-blue eyes. Unlike him, though, I had auburn hair and a thickerframe. I didn't really have any muscle definition but my body was firmenough and I certainly didn't qualify as fat or overweight.Until I learned what gay was – and what I was – I was obsessed withour physical characteristics. I understood that k**s were cruel, how couldI not, but I always assumed they picked on those that were just different –fat, ugly, four-eyed, whatever. I thought I was normal, if not a littleshy, so until my older brother – two years my senior – finally tookthe time to explain to me what `gay' was, I just never could understand whyhe hated me so much.By 8th grade I knew that Eddie was right. I had discovered masturbation, inpart because of the internet, and knew that it was boys and not girls. One of the men was quite drunk already, merrily yellingand laughing all the way to the destination. I followed them and soon woundup at the entrance of the club, located in what seemed like a repurposedindustrial building. A team of bouncers sorted the gang of partygoers intoa reasonably organized queue, and after a short negotiation they leteveryone in, including the drunkard. The burly, bald man who seemed to bein charge of the other two security personnel smiled at me as he opened thedoor for me. The admission was free tonight, but as I stood in line, Ichecked my purse and discovered that there fortunately was some cash in it.In all honesty, I was not expecting to have a good time here. I had neverbeen much of a nightclub patron to begin with. Most clubs I had been towere usually full of unbearably loud, tasteless music and equallyunbearable drunken people. The only real motive for me to go to one wouldhave been to find a potential girlfriend, but I had long since given uphope of.
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